Sprinkler?
The wet sprinkler's thermo-tension
With my son's contravention,
Is but a tremendous and stupendous
Gehenna duenna antenna.
Oh!  The flamingo! 
His clingy twingy lingo!
I used to study Latin,
But then I worked in Satin.
You haggard man!  You staggard diaphragm!
Cyclonic monophonic.
Take this sonnet in your bonnet,
And VERMICULATE!!

Salivary Sanctuary
Feel the decadent surge.
Let the universe immerge into an outstretched quandary.
Renounce your chariot,
You gallipot nib of a kumquat shot.
For you are too young to discharge 
My vandal candle
Don't disgruntle, show me a frontal.
Some day, you
The oblationer will overcome the impatible dalmatica.
For now be rational,
Don't get sensational or slightly imitational.
You are zemidar.

The Friendly Curtain
I put on a jersey that
Seemed to supersaturate my 
Ravaging battery.
"Don't patronize me as you 
did to my fattiness,
But matronize Fee 
as he haughtily scavenged a passing tourist.

The Hanging Thing  (this is complete nonsense)
My lollipop gyroscope
For an aftercrop antelope
Smells like a hepper leper pepper
With a marabout hydroscope.
The force of my divorce shall
Uproot the blues of a bruise 
Whose cruise chooses to peruse the ooze you lose.
Waterchute!  Overshoot!
The projectile, an isectile,
Is it percious?  Oh, please refresh us.
So lemniscus but not lentiscus 
Is my risky and frisky hanging thing
That I ingerminate.

Alrac the Hypochondriac  (an unfinished piece)
Alrac the hyprochondiral unleashed the slack of her lycopod.
It floated with sarlick
When the rest-harrow harnessed
Several piffly keys.

LYOM    (this one tells a story, but I still don't know all the words)
As I compile the bile,
I harass an uncharming,
Yet alarming cassowary.
I will neither intermarry nor
Miscarry this endermic laudation.
She thrust a volumptuous fust
As her beslabberd tabard
Ripped at the crust.
When the interior outblushed
And the seismoscope rushed
It immensely lengthened the 
Phenic groin as the smolt
Seemed to unbolt at the seams.
"Vermicelli!  Helly cancelli!"
was indistinctly shrilled.
For a priceless sedition
Of my fribbly rendition
Untowered in a concise sozzle.

Bury My Colostomy Bag (I actually wrote this one at ILTC in summer of 1995)
Bury my colostomy bag
It hinders my intuition
The odor and sight of it only gives it definition.
Bury my colostomy bag
I've fought it all my life.
It holds me back and guards me tight with an opened knife.
It's packed with globs of bile, smegma, pus, and chyme,
Snot, urine, semen, and blood
I can't believe it's all mine.
I wish that I could rip it out
With all the schmootz included
Fr when the bag is no more,
No longer am I secluded.

My Mangina (Here's one I wrote when I was really pissed after letting my mangina get the best of me.)

The erotic openness creates a clear innuendo
But my interior struggle bestows a diminuendo.

Without deception, her emphasis exhausts,
Yet I dwell like an egomaniac on the enlarged turmoil.

What could allow such a malevolent handicap
As it thrashes a promotion of its citizen regimen?

It's tough to decipher, but its cowardice now exposed,
I see that the fountainhead of it all is a bonifide mangina
And it smells.